This Child of Ours

Really really enjoyed this book ,about a subject I’d not really thought of before.made me want to look into the subject more.all the characters were believable,I give this book five stars

I really enjoyed this book wasn't expecting it to be about gender but it was a great story and beautifully written and all the difficulties facing families going through this with children hopefully will get the support they and their children need Sally was a brilliant mum and eventually everyone was on the same page supporting Riley a fantastic read with a sensitive subject at the heart of the story loved it

Compelling and insightful read into two parents struggling with their child’s feelings. What would you do in this situation?

Well written in an easy style, this book draws you in and illustrates the dilemmas faced by Sally and Theo when trying their best to support Riley.

I was really torn throughout this book - applauding one parent and wanting to shake the other whilst understanding where they were both coming from.

5* realistic and thought-provoking

A truly lovely read about family and love and support, it's not easy being a parent and there is no right or wrong way to do it, some great characters and even with a difficult subject matter, it's dealt with in a caring way, loved it

In terms of thought provoking fiction, it doesn't get more thought provoking than the content covered in This Child of Ours. If I'm completely honest, gender dysphoria (the condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one's biological sex) within children is not something I've dwelled on to any degree. With each of my children, my girl has right from the start been a girly girl while my boys have both been boyish boys. Being a household with both boys and girls ensured that each had a choice over what toys they wanted to play with, and there were plenty of times my daughter pushed trucks around while my sons carried dolls wedged under their armpits. But when it came to clothes, and picking things out for themselves, each of them gravitated to gender specific items. I've never once thought to myself, ‘what would I do if my child wanted to be the opposite of what they are?’ I've never even encountered it with friends, although my daughter did go to primary school in her early years with a girl who kept her hair short and wore the boy's uniform. But this girl still identified as a girl and still had a girl's name; maybe she was wanting to be a boy or maybe she was a tomboy, I don't know. To us, she just was who she was and we liked her that way. Her friends were all girls and she never missed a birthday party or playdate.

I felt an instant affinity to both Sally and Theo, the parents at the centre of this novel. While they viewed their daughter as a tomboy, she was still their daughter, and they didn't sit around musing on the idea that she might actually want to be a boy. Who does? But Riley, at the age of seven, tells her mother she is a boy. Not that she wants to be one, but that she is one. That her body is wrong. It's a heartbreaking scenario and I felt quite able, under the guiding hand of Sadie's sensitive handling of this terrain, to see both sides of the story. In a nutshell, while both parents are shocked and distressed by this situation they now find themselves in, their reactions and subsequent actions differ. Sally feels a strong need to support Riley. She's with her more than Theo and witnesses Riley's daily distress over not being able to be the person she really feels she should be. Theo wants to ignore it, Riley is only seven after all, and what if it's just a faze, which given her age, is a plausible likelihood. My own view fell somewhere in the middle, but it was only through Sadie's meticulous presentation of both Sally’s and Theo's viewpoints that I was able to arrive at this point.

Sally seemed to me to really jump the gun. After only consulting a GP and getting a very loose impression on what might be occurring with Riley, she seemed to just go from A to Z without pause and reflection for every step of the way. It was interesting to note how Sadie dealt with perception throughout this novel and the visit to the GP is an excellent example of this. Sally heard one thing while Theo heard another. And this really typified their handling of Riley's situation from the outset. I could really appreciate where Theo was coming from though. He seemed to have a better grasp on the bigger picture than Sally. For Sally, it was more about the immediate, making Riley happy, yet for Theo, it was about the future and how vastly this would change for Riley if she became a boy. It was about more than wearing boy’s clothes and using the boy's toilets. And herein lies my problem with how Sally chose to handle it. I really feel that given Riley's young age, and her being pre-pubescent, that she should have been digging deeper, working with a child psychologist to ensure that Riley fully understood that what was being set in motion was far greater than wearing transformers underwear and using the boy's toilets at school. It rattled me to consider that a parent wouldn't do more to be sure, given the enormity of changing gender. I was somewhat disappointed that the GP didn't refer them on, given her initial impressions of Riley. It's a worry that medical professionals may inadvertently downplay a situation like this. My view is that this process would require intense support and consultation at every step of such an unknown journey.

It was so sad to see Sally's and Theo's marriage fracture under the pressure of this situation. We meet them at the start as a loving and close unit. Everything that unfolded between them seemed entirely plausible to me. This would be such a difficult situation to navigate through, dealing with your own shattered preconceived notions, trying to work out what's the best thing for your child, and trying to be on the same page as your partner as well as offering them support. Both of these characters had many opportunities for introspection and Riley's journey was as much about Sally and Theo reordering their own perceptions and beliefs along the way, an aspect of the story I appreciated enormously. I also felt rather sad for Theo's parents. They are of a different era, and I could totally understand their distress over Riley's decision. I didn't agree with Theo's father's actions, but I certainly understood where they were coming from. Theo's parent’s reaction was offered as a contrast to that of Sally's father and step-mother, and this really mirrored the couple themselves. I appreciated how Sadie brought these perspectives in, stretching out beyond the immediate household and into the reactions of extended family, friends, and even the community. She highlighted just how far reaching these life changing decisions can be.

All in all, This Child of Ours was extremely well balanced, affording the reader all sides with the breathing space to make up your own mind, if you were so inclined. It is an ideal novel for book club discussion, you’d be hard pressed to find a more polarising choice to go back and forth over. Given the nature of the subject matter that forms the backbone of this story, there was a real risk of this novel having an agenda, but Sadie has skilfully avoided this trap and instead delivered a thought provoking and emotionally charged read that offers an opportunity for further contemplation.

Thanks is extended to Little, Brown Book Group UK for providing me with a copy of This Child of Ours via Netgalley for review.

A special thanks to the author for personally requesting me as a reviewer for her debut as Sadie Pearse.

Review will appear at www.theresasmithwrites.com on August 22nd.

There is nothing more I can say than I absolutely loved this book. What a sensitive issue, dealt with beautifully. Highly recommend. .

A unique storyline that really had me thinking. My granddaughter is the same age and I was wondering how we would handle it if she had the same feelings. And the answer is - I don't know.

A moving and very relevant book about an issue which is becoming more and more common.The book shows the effects of a child feeling 'wrong' in her own skin and the way the parents deal with this .The issue is handled with sensitivity without glossing over the impact on the family.A beautifully written,contemporary novel which I enjoyed reading.
Thanks to Net Galley and Little Brown Book Group for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

The first thing that struck me was what would I have done in this situation. I came to the conclusion that I didn't really know. Riley was fortunate in getting the support from her parents especially as it's such a sensitive issue. The novel is written with considerable warmth, understanding, tolerance and perception. It's an unsettling read when you consider how rigid our society can be and there's so little help and understanding from others. It was very insightful. Thank you to NetGalley and Little Brown Book.

I was sent a copy of This Child of Ours by Sadie Pearse to read and review by NetGalley.
This novel tackles the very topical issue of gender dysphoria and I think it does so very sensitively. The beginning of the book, I thought, was a romantic and rather mawkish view of the family concerned – in fact I was almost at the point of giving up when 7 year old Riley was given a voice. The relationships between the adults in the story remained rather romanticised but the main issue of Riley’s gender dysphoria and how it affected all aspects of daily life was quite compelling and enlightening. Whether there are more instances of gender dysphoria in the world today or whether it is the fact that we are all much more aware, this novel gives some insight into both how a child may feel about being in the wrong body and how adults, whether they be parents, grandparents and even the general public react to this.

That’s where you start; looking through a window at a family that feels just about right, that seems just about perfect. There’s a small voice though, a small voice that grows louder and bolder, making it impossible to ignore.

Riley is a seven-year-old child who is becoming. Riley is a self-aware seven-year-old child who feels out of place. Something is obviously not right, but could it be just a phase? “This Child of Ours” by Sadie Pearse takes a brave leap of faith into the world of Riley, Sally and Theo, a family trying to make sense of their world.

One of my favourite things about this novel is that it doesn’t take sides; it listens without judgment, navigating the endless universe of opinions with a sort of elegance that becomes a safe haven instead of a ground zero leading to overwhelming exposure. It’s not an easy novel to read though; it asks you to acknowledge the cracks on the foundation upon which we have comfortably laid our whole existence without much thought.

The writing is simple. Not in a geometrical way, but in the sense that it feels like clay at its degree of most potential: holding everything. It flows naturally, even as we go on exploring the characters through each other’s lenses. And it’s so beautifully open, a testament to Sadie Pearse’s skill.

It’s heartbreaking to witness Sally’s and Theo’s search for balance between loss and gain, to follow Riley as the seven-year-old navigates the turmoil and deals with the guilt that soon follows. These are heavy shoes and at each step we are left breathless, wondering how anyone could ever take walking for granted. If anything, I would have given it more time.

Thought-provoking, nerve-wracking and poignantly relevant, “This Child of Ours” is real. It’s a novel not of endings, but of constant beginnings; a novel not of acceptance as a solid block of cement, but of the art of accepting as something to build; a novel not of rights and/or wrongs, but of understanding. A moving portrait of family, love and forgiveness.

ARC provided by Little, Brown Book Group UK via NetGalley

Wow! What an engrossing read! Sally and Theo are the parents of seven year old Riley who seemingly out of the blue decides she is a boy. Sally and Theo struggle with how to handle her news and slowly begin to accept and adjust to her desires to change her hair, wear boys underwear and clothing and be referred to as a boy. Riley immediately displays a greater self-confidence and joy in her everyday life. But Theo is stuck trying to keep her from progressing to "he". Sally on the other hand is also greatly disturbed by the "loss" of her daughter but she feels strongly that Riley's happiness is more important that what seems right and normal to the rest of the world. The marriage suffers greatly as does the relationship with Theo's parents. A very well-written and fascinating read into what most of us never really get to see. I very strongly recommend this to anyone, even those who have difficulty with the idea of gender dysphoria.

Many thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for a review copy. This is my honest opinion.

I was given an advance copy of this book but my opinion and review is an honest one.

Firstly, this is not a book subject that I would necessarily have chosen but I have read the authors other books under another name and thought I would give it a go.

Although it is not a true story it must be so many people’s reality. What do you do when your child says they are not happy in their body and want to go from a girl to a boy or vice versa? Do you ignore them, think it is a stage they are going through? Do you support them?

Thought it was handled very well and very thought provoking and so many different opinions on what is right or wrong or “normal”.

Would highly recommend reading this book, it certainly gets you thinking.

Very ‘of the moment’, and the first novel I have read regarding gender dysphoria. At the beginning I did struggle a little to get into this, life seemed a little to perfect and relationships between the adults seemed very Stepford-Esque, but once the child Riley got their own voice the book really picked up and was an enlightening, thought provoking read. A good one for book club.

I have to say I did not particularly enjoy the first 25% of this novel portraying such a perfect family unit that was too sweet and unrealistic. Then suddenly when the whole point of the novel was addressed it became much more interesting and fascinating. That Riley's mother was so supportive of her child while her father struggled with his feelings was so believable making the novel therefore, for me, a compulsive read. The feelings and reactions of the extended family, the position the school took and the reaction of other parents were varied and interesting. People so often feel threatened by situations they don't consider normal! A difficult subject delicately dealt with. I would like to think I would approach such a situation with compassion and understanding.
Many thanks to Netgalley/Sadie Pearse/Little Brown for a digital copy of this title. All opinions expressed are my own.

This Child of Ours by Sadie Pearse begins slowly, following Sally and Theo and their seven year-old daughter, Riley as they navigate work and school. Life seems perfect and yet, having read the blurb, the reader knows Sally and Theo are about to be forced to make decisions no parent ever wishes to make. My advice is to stick with this novel because once Riley articulates how she really feels the story takes off, as Sally and Theo try to answer impossible questions. Does Riley really want to change gender? Or is her need to be a boy just a phase that will pass? A sensitive, realistic exploration of how a child’s need impacts a family and those around them. This is the author’s first novel written as Sadie Pearse (she also writes as Vanessa Greene and Abby Clements) and I’m looking forward to reading more.

This book isn't something I would usually read and does contain a difficult subject matter however I found this book a great read, interesting and gripping. Would recommend.