You’re Not Listening
What You’re Missing and Why It Matters
by Kate Murphy
Pub Date 23 Jan 2020
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*Picked by the Observer, Stylist and Waterstones as a best non-fiction book for 2020*
When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?
This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever.
At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation.
On social media, we shape our personal narratives.
At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians.
We’re not listening.
And no one is listening to us.
Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others.
Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected.
When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how.
'In this powerful and potentially life-changing book... the US journalist and author argues that in this age of technology and political division, actually just listening is more important than ever.'
'An essential book for our times. How well we listen determines how we love, learn, and connect with one another, and in this moment when we need to hear and be heard more than ever, this thought-provoking and engaging book shows us how.'
Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
'I was instantly hooked by Kate Murphy's simple but profound argument – that although listening is the foundation of communication, innovation, growth, an love, few of us really know how to do it properly, or where to even start. You're Not Listening is a captivating and enlightening book that provides readers with a road map on how to listen and why it is so important to how we connect, work, and live.'
Kim Scott, New York Times bestselling author of Radical Candor
'In an age when technology has made it easier than ever before to talk with each other, we've been paradoxically become worse at listening. Fortunately, we have Kate Murphy to teach us how to reclaim this crucial skill. This book changed the way I think about communicating with the people who matter to me.'
Cal Newport, New York Times bestselling author of Deep Work and Digital Minimalism