Loved and Wanted

This is an incredible, painful, beautiful book about mothering and womanhood and navigating a patriarchal world with a female body.


I keep thinking about where Parravani writes of not addressing certain aspects of her relationship to spare her children's feelings and her concern about what her children, and especially her son, will think when they are old enough to read it. It is unusual to see these concerns addressed in a text in such a vulnerable way, without one shred of defensiveness. I hope they admire their mother for her courage..

It seems women can't fully inhabit their own lives once they become mothers. The pram in the hall is the enemy not of productivity but openness because something always has to be held back. I found this book all the more important because of this.

Loved and Wanted deals with motherhood and pregnancy against the backdrop of US state-by-state restrictions that limit women's reproductive rights which have worsened during Trump's tenure as President. This novel is a memoir of the time the author found herself with an un-planned pregnancy, two young children, money worries and a less than supportive husband. The judgmental and unhelpful comments of the medical professionals involved is staggering and the way in which Women are simply brushed aside and essentially just told to get on with it is a damning indictment of a monetised medical system. Indeed, it is shocking to discover that Medicaid does not cover termination of a pregnancy leaving women to find thousands of dollars to fund one themselves, that is if they can even find a medical professional who will perform it. The authors writing style took a while to get used to - she uses short, choppy sentences - but overall an interesting insight into what it is like to be a woman in the US.