Trauma and Ecstasy is a brutal and open account about the author’s struggle with repressed trauma. Through many sessions of MDMA and psilocybin with a caring and thoughtful guide, Alex remembers that he had been repeatedly raped and brutalized by his childhood piano teacher and later by the piano teacher and an associate. This is a raw account of repeated trauma and the author is to be commended for his candor and willingness to speak out.

Had I not just read a book about new modalities for treating depression written by my own former therapist, I might have scoffed at Alex’s chosen mode of treatment. However, the book describes that these medicines may well be on the forefront of treating trauma.

Mr. Alexander starts the book with his journey through modern medicine and physical therapy as well as conventional talk therapy as he tries to figure out some serious issues with his pelvis, a journey that apparently takes many years. Interspersed in the book are look-backs at his childhood and his later reflections that he was never good enough for his
parents who, in addition to Alex, had another son who has autism as well as a daughter. All of these feelings as well as his reliving of the repeated rapes are revealed during his process with unconventional treatment.

He also beautifully describes his relationship with his mother which deepens over time as they are able to reach deeper within themselves and share feelings.

Many times, books that detail personal trauma are not well written and seem to be something the author needs to write for themselves but are not necessarily meant for the general public. The opposite is true of Trauma and Ecstasy. Mr. Alexander writes beautifully and I am grateful that he shares his journey with the reader.

Highly recommended.

I received this book as an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley.

4.5⭐️

[a copy of this book was provided to me by the publisher from netgalley. thank you!]

a dark and deeply personal and moving memoir about how psychedelic drugs assisted the author in recovering from childhood trauma. as someone with childhood trauma, i found this to be very insightful and interesting. more advocacy and research is needed to understand the connections between psychedelic drugs and trauma.

I find it tough to rate this 5 stars because of the subject matter and the horrors that Alex lived through. I know trauma is in the title, but holy moly it is A LOT of trauma. Bless him for being willing to share his journey with all of us. He wrote this book in an incredibly open, honest & frankly, raw way. There was no slow introductions, right from the start we begin to read about his scars. It is important. I think all survivors of abuse will be able to relate, and just maybe feel less alone. And I certainly hope writing it helped him to cut more of his trauma free. Reading about his psychedelic therapies is incredibly interesting and I thank him for doing what he can in bringing the idea of it forward. I’d love to read something by Katrina (not about her work with Alex specifically; just to go deeper into the work) While this book was a tough read, while it doesn’t end the way that you or I or especially Alex would want; I still found myself tearing up that he was finding the positive in life despite everything. Thank you so much to NetGalley for a copy in exchange for my review

Thanks to NetGalley for providing an e-ARC. Go into this book with an open-mind and you will not only learn a lot of new information but likely change your view of the use of psychedelics. I found this book to be thought provoking and overall well written. This beautiful memoir shares one person’s experience with debilitating trauma and finally finding relief from the pain and sufferings through the used of psychedelics. I would recommend this author in the future and would recommend this book now.

Raw and real, a valuable insight into the eyes of another. A painful read at times, but praise is with the author- I’m sure this book will help others.

Book Review: Trauma and Ecstasy: How Psychedelics Made My Life Worth Living by Alex Abraham
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4.5/5)

Overview
Alex Abraham’s Trauma and Ecstasy is a groundbreaking memoir that intertwines personal trauma recovery with a rigorous exploration of psychedelic therapy. The book documents Abraham’s journey from surviving childhood sexual abuse and debilitating health crises to finding transformative healing through psychedelics like psilocybin, MDMA, and ayahuasca. Blending raw autobiography with incisive commentary on mental health paradigms, Abraham challenges stigma while advocating for the responsible integration of psychedelics into therapeutic practice.

Strengths
Unflinching Vulnerability: Abraham’s prose is visceral and intimate, particularly in depicting the somatic and psychological toll of trauma. His descriptions of dissociation, chronic pain, and suicidal ideation are harrowing yet purposeful—anchoring the narrative in a lived reality that defies clinical abstraction.

Psychedelics as Catalysts for Healing: The memoir excels in demystifying psychedelic experiences without romanticizing them. Abraham details sessions with striking clarity, distinguishing between “ecstatic” breakthroughs (e.g., ego dissolution, ancestral visions) and the grueling emotional labor of integration. His nuanced take on set/setting and therapeutic guidance underscores psychedelics’ potential as tools—not panaceas.

Critique of Conventional Psychiatry: Abraham’s frustration with SSRIs, misdiagnoses, and institutional gaslighting mirrors broader systemic critiques. His turn to psychedelics emerges as both rebellion and necessity, offering a compelling case for paradigm shifts in trauma treatment.

Interdisciplinary Resonance: The book bridges memoir, medical advocacy, and social critique. Themes like neuroplasticity, the mind-body connection, and the ethics of self-experimentation will engage readers across psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy.

Limitations
Narrative Pacing: Early chapters occasionally linger on cyclical suffering, which, while authentic, risk overwhelming readers before the transformative arc begins. A tighter structural balance could amplify emotional impact.

Limited Clinical Context: Though Abraham acknowledges risks (e.g., bad trips, contraindications), deeper engagement with clinical trials or harm-reduction frameworks (e.g., screening protocols, integration therapy models) would strengthen the book’s academic rigor.

Cultural Perspectives Absent: The memoir focuses on Western therapeutic contexts, sidestepping Indigenous traditions or global inequities in psychedelic access—a missed opportunity for intersectional analysis.

Theoretical and Practical Contributions
Trauma Theory: Abraham’s journey illustrates Bessel van der Kolk’s premise that trauma “lives in the body,” with psychedelics acting as accelerants for somatic release and narrative reconstruction.
Mental Health Advocacy: The book humanizes the failures of biomedical models while modeling patient-led healing, resonating with movements for psychedelic decriminalization and trauma-informed care.
Ethical Considerations: Abraham’s candidness about relapse, dependency fears, and the limits of psychedelics provides crucial counterpoints to over-optimistic media narratives.

Conclusion
Trauma and Ecstasy is a vital addition to the canon of psychedelic literature and trauma memoirs. While its intense subjectivity and occasional gaps in scholarly framing prevent a perfect score, Abraham’s courage and analytical depth make this essential reading for clinicians, survivors, and policymakers alike. The book’s greatest achievement lies in its refusal to reduce healing to a linear arc—instead honoring the messy, nonlinear alchemy of pain and transcendence.

Acknowledgments
Thank you to NetGalley and Alex Abraham for providing an advance review copy. This access enabled a thorough engagement with a work that bridges personal catharsis and public discourse on mental health innovation.

Final Verdict
A luminous, challenging, and ultimately hopeful testament to the power of psychedelics—and human resilience—to rewrite life after trauma.

In Trauma and Ecstasy, Alex Abraham has written his autobiography about his life story and experiencing bad trauma growing up. He begins the book by sharing how he hated riding bikes in general but he was riding one in the Netherlands. His life changed forever at age 23. He started experiencing pain and had trouble peeing. He thought he had an infection from traveling. It turned out to be pelvis pain. He looked for relief in any activity or a promise of a healing. He read a post by author, Tucker Max and his own experience with MDMA assisted psychotherapy. He into great detail about everything he tried and went through. This lasted for years before he discovered the cause.


One day, he had a troubling dream from his childhood. He remembers having piano lessons throughout his childhood. His mom wanted him to try new activities and thought piano would help him. Mr. Bishop who refers to as Mr. Dickhead throughout the book. He was also his school music teacher in school. He told him he was smart and encouraged him. He said he was his favorite and none of the other kids practice like he did. This later was revealed to have known as an act of grooming him. He blamed the traffic and getting stuck in it caused him to wait and waste time. So, he offered to just drive him home to do the lessons. He remembered how he gave him a special candy bar from a local gas station on the first drive. The next ride home he took him by a special park. He thought he was friendly and it beat riding the bus home. He recalled the first time and how he felt like it was seconds and then how it eventually went to choking and rougher sexual acts. He bled a few times from it. Through therapy he was able to recall him raping him and making him taste him. The rapes went on for years until he was about 7. He even had a friend rape him once. One time he even told a teacher and wasn’t believed.


He touched on eventually telling his parents and how they went to the police. They took it seriously at first then couldn’t find any evidence. His statements can be seen in video online. He also wrote a letter to the school board explaining to him what happened. They wrote a response and they never did fire him. In fact, he received an award in 2021-2022 for best outstanding school based professional employee of the year. Right after the case was closed.


This story is just downright troubling and the lack of action from the school board is just astonishing. It was very heartbreaking to read his whole experiences with being raped and all the graphic details. I feel like this book needs to make national news and media outlets need to discuss the topic. This book brought tears to my eyes in reading it. It also reminds me of a song by Jelly Roll entitled, “Hear Me Out”.

This raw, emotionally intricate memoir charts Abraham’s experience with trauma, PTSD, and the nuanced, often contradictory feelings that come with healing. The “ecstasy” in the title isn’t just metaphorical—it’s about reclaiming joy, sensuality, and hope after prolonged suffering. Abraham writes with a poet’s honesty and a clinician’s insight (he’s a therapist himself), crafting a story that is both deeply personal and universally resonant.

Rather than following a traditional arc of triumph, the memoir lets readers sit in the grey spaces of recovery—the relapses, breakthroughs, and hard-won glimpses of peace. It’s a valuable resource not only for survivors but for anyone trying to understand the emotional and physiological realities of trauma.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Trauma and Ecstacy: How psychadelics made my life worth living by Alex Abraham is a fascinating book.

After spending years and years trying everything western medicine could suggest, Alex was left in pain, and feeling defeated. He had heard ramblings about how psychadelics could help but brushed them off. Eventually things got bad enough that Alex had nothing else to loose and decided to give it a try.

Alex takes you through his journey of healing from childhood sexual abuse and trauma. Between psychedelic and integration therapy his life has changed and now he spends his time educating others on its benefits.

I appreciate how Alex doesnt shy away from recounting all the horrible shit that got him to that point in the first place. I think it helps the reader understand that he had truly tried everything else first before trying psychadelics and he didnt just jump straight to it.

Thank you Alex for sharing your story, im sure it will help many others as well. Thank you for also partnering with NetGalley. I received an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion and review.