"Numb is my favorite flavor."

It's Messy in Here is a raw and darkly funny memoir about surviving cross addiction in all its guises-pills, booze, food, sex, shopping, chaos-and the relentless chase for self-worth through all the wrong things.

From bulimic teen beauty queen to coke-fueled NFL cheerleader, one-hit wonder Mexican pop star to blackout Hollywood writer, Cyn Posner has lived on both sides of the glitter: through the shiny promise of success and the wreckage when it all comes crashing down. What looks perfect on the outside hides the spirals, secrets, and compulsions beneath.

Told in sharp, unfiltered vignettes, It's Messy in Here is part cultural critique, part confession booth, part survival story. It lays bare the ways addiction sneaks into every corner of modern life, the messy, reluctant crawl out of it, and the contradictions of being human-wanting to escape and wanting to belong, craving chaos and craving calm, running from yourself and finally facing the mirror.

Enter at your own risk. The floor is slippery.

Cyn Posner is a bilingual writer reared within two cultures, merging her Mexican mother's warmth and magic with her American father's sharp pragmatism. She was raised in an ashram in Florida, studied fine arts at University of South Florida, and after a brief stint as a Mexican pop singer made her way to New York City, then Los Angeles. In Hollywood, Cyn wrote her first feature, Undateable John, for Amazon through Joan Jett's Blackheart Films.Her debut novel, Escape to Mexico was inspired by the magic, meltdowns, and reinvention that come with starting over. She now spends time writing plays for the San Miguel Playwrights, blogging Substack essays on sobriety, and speaking at twelve-step meetings in between yoga retreats.