Millennial Love

I love this podcast. When it first came out it felt like it was made for me, I haven’t listened to in a while but completely devoured this book. Exactly what I needed. Thank you.

In Millennial Love, journalist and chart-topping podcast host, on which this book is based, explores the trials, the terms and trends of the modern dating world. Witty, smart, self-probing and vibrant, it is part guide to the absurdities of dating apps, part personal exploration of the author’s own experiences. It’s a honest examination that will bring anyone with a smart phone fully up to date on how we behave like we do in the seemingly inconsequential landscape of online dating.

It’s the kind of book I wish was a mandatory downloadable for every Hinge applicant, so we are all on the same page when it comes to ghosting, haunting, orbiting and breadcrumbing; ludicrous as these terms are, they are vital label in both understanding and tackling the emotionally abusive behaviours that can rule the inauthentic world of social media.

Much of the bad behaviour, which Olivia interestingly argues is perpetrated by social media platforms; why do we have the read receipts? the blue ticks? ‘By giving us access to this degree of detail, it keeps us hooked to our phones’ Petter observes. An unnecessary feature that feeds our involvement in a texting relationship which can bizarrely contain all the insecurities, hopes and sympathies of a real-life connection. This book will help you understand just how modern dating can make us feel lonelier than ever.

Petter steps outside the app world for the second half of the book and into an exploration of the roles society is still conditioning us to play. She looks at sexuality, Weinstein and the Me Too movement, among other subjects. She looks at how black women are stereotyped and fetishised online, and how James Franco found a sympathetic live audience when quizzed on his predatory instagram messages with a 17 year old school girl.

Apps aren’t going to go anywhere, that is for sure. But we can learn, with the help of this book, to rethink our relationship with the free-reigning landscape of modern millennial love.

How much sleep have I lost over being left on read, stalking a potential Bumble date before crafting the *perfect* opening line and wondering whether I’ve been blocked by an ex or if they’re “just taking an insta break”? Sadly, A LOT! Millennial Love nails dating in the modern age, but also provides some valuable commentary beyond swiping right, on topics including contraception and porn.

The book sums up the angsty texts in my group chats about behaviours (and non behaviours) of our respective dates, and I felt extremely seen for about 80% of the book. But it also touches on the stuff which, for some reason, we still don’t talk about with friends, which has given me a lot to think about.

While modern romance remains a myth to me, Millennial Love was both a depressingly accurate and reassuring remedy. Thank you to the publishers for the advance copy!

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