I don't think I have the words to ensure this review does this book justice.

This is a true story told from the POV of Cindy, the author. A lady who has experienced such trauma as a child and then throughout her life, it brought tears to my eyes. This is her story, her truth, and I cannot imagine the bravery it must have taken to write it. It is making me emotional having to even write this review!

This book deserves nothing less than 5*. Not because of the story, not because I "enjoyed it", because of the lessons taught by a lady whose story will stay with me for the rest of my life.

I do believe there needs to be content warnings at the beginning of the book. This is a true story, it does discuss child abuse, paedophilia, extreme violence, rape. It is not an easy read. It took me 3 or 4 times longer than I normally would reading a book this size, because I needed to process it in between sittings.

I am so glad I read this book, I will continue to follow Cindy's story and will look out for any further books if she chooses to publish again in the future.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to review a copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

Cindy was abused by her stepfather as a child and became pregnant by him at 14. As I write that it feels like such a "bald" statement. However the author almost treats much of her younger life like that and in a sense that is a way of dealing with it. For years she told herself that there was an attraction involved again as a way of dealing with it. It was only considerably later in life that someone held a metaphorical mirror up to her to allow her to see more clearly.

This is Cindy's biography though probably unlike any other I've read. To say that her life was chaotic and disjointed would be an understatement. While the abuse was terrible (to me now) it's simply a part of a very difficult life. This is life as lived and it isn't simply the sexual abuse that might have crushed many people. Her mother's life was dark and did very little to help her for example. There's a sense of a pinball machine and Cindy simply bouncing off problems to me. I was completely engaged with this book throughout however my engagement and tension increased massively during the trial.

My rating here is for Cindy - for the fact that she survived and was brave enough to tell her story. While I hope there was a benefit to her writing this it cannot have been without a cost. The highs eventually start to arrive and they bring brighter colours to this. It's wonderful to see how Cindy manages to develop although even that is not straightforward (or even a straight line!). For me one of the great things about this book is it does show us that it is possible to work our way through real problems and find ways of living life better.

Wow, the story was really good. It was raw. It was gritty. It was disgusting for a child to have to go through such things as Cindy went through. My heart went out to her courage, gratitude, empathy, hats all to her, and prayers for continuing to have faith and keep your head up in the world where certain things are ignored, but this was really good and it’s a great recommendation. It’s a great story to have a chat with and I will recommend.