Red, White & Moo (Pee-Yew!): Notes from Tooting Cows
A Dad's Darn Tootin' Fart Book
by Captain Tootypants
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Pub Date 20 Jun 2025 | Archive Date 1 Jul 2025
ARC provided by Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op | Dad's Darn Tootin' Book
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Description
Something stinky is going on at Farmer Hank's farm . . .
It was bad enough when his cows just loved to toot, but now that they've found the scissors, the glue, and the old "Farm Life" magazines, it's complete moo-hem!
When the cows start leaving notes demanding more fart fuel for their toot-taculor Fourth of July blowout, Farmer Hank drops a stink-sational surprise that leaves the cows green in more ways than one.
Get ready for the stinkiest, smelliest Fourth of July celebration you've ever seen (or smelled!), with laughs so loud, they'll blow the barn doors off!
Available Editions
EDITION | Paperback |
ISBN | 9798218692377 |
PRICE | US$13.65 (USD) |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews

I read this to my 4 year old little man and he was giggling so hard!
Super cute book with fart-astic puns!
The illustration was beautiful as well!
Little man wants to know what antics the donkeys will get into!!

A very clever story about, as the title indicates, tooting cows. The text is clever indeed and the wording is laugh out loud, with some rather tasteless rhymes (as it should be). The story has an edifying and surprising ending, so it all comes together.
But, back to the (I shall say it): farting. I love books about this (I shall say it): farting. In fact, my wife frequently encourages me to take a lactaid pill before consuming milk but I refuse, because I like doing what the tooting cows do. So, for those of us who are pro cows and anti ozone, and who have young kids or grandkids, this book will delight you.
For those of you who are offended by this topic, you REALLY need this book!

I don't even know what to think. I certainly didn't think I'd be reading a book about farts when I decided to have a baby. But here we are.
For a book about toots, it's really cute, it's really fun, and my kids thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Sure, they ran around the entire afternoon fake tooting, but they also ate their vegetables at dinner because I told them it was fart fuel like the book said. So I'm calling it a win.
It's cute, it's fun. I give it 💨💨💨💨💨
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Caroline Bell
Arts & Photography, Children's Fiction, Comics & Graphic Novels