Nice girls will find something to get out of Nice Girls Win. It's definitely a different set of guidance than a lot of the Lean In type books, and reminds me in a good way of Likeable Badass!

"Nice Girls Win" is a book that wants to dismantle the idea that being "a nice girl" means being docile, passive, quiet, and instead reframes niceness as a superpower. The author challenges so many of those notions that women have been taught, and so many of the things that have been told to women in an attempt to empower them, such as "lean in" or "let them", discussing why these are actually harmful, and offers practical alternatives. It is a celebration of focusing inwards, doing things that we want, recharging ourselves, pursuing fun and joy.
In fact the book is very practical, with worksheets at the end of each chapter, and the encouragement to come back to the book as you need to, to work through these properly.
Any nice (or not) girl would get a lot out of it.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Nice Girls Win is a battle cry for every woman who was taught that being good meant putting herself last. It dares us to stop shrinking, stop apologizing for wanting more, and reclaim the space we were taught to surrender. Being kind was never the problem. Believing we had to disappear to prove it was.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Sometimes a book finds you at exactly the right moment, and Nice Girls Win somehow found me when I really needed it.🤍 I was scrolling through emails, responding to authors and readers, when I received an email from Kelly asking if I would be interested in reading her book. Right now, I'm working, raising a child, managing a household, and trying to build a business of my own. I'm pouring into a lot of things and, if I'm being completely truthful, I'm running on empty.

Then Kelly described her book as "dismantling the idea that women have to choose between being kind and being powerful."

Okay. You have my attention.

I accepted the book.

And less than five pages in, she asked a question I was completely unprepared for: "What do you deserve?"

She follows it with: “I would bet that 99% of women have never thought about that phrase in their lives. Want? Sure. Like to have? Of course. But deserve?”

I couldn't answer it.

My brain immediately started finding reasons I shouldn't even be asking the question. What about those who don't have a roof over their heads? What about people who don't have enough food? Why do I deserve more than they do?

And somewhere in that spiral I realized... that's the point.

I couldn't even consider what I deserved without immediately making it about somebody else.

Then came another line that felt uncomfortably personal: “Women are often so used to serving others that they lose the ability to identify their own desires.”

Hi. Hello. It's me. 🙋‍♀️ But also, why you gotta call me out like that?

So I kept coming back to two questions: What do I desire? What do I deserve? And I wish I could tell you I reached the end of the book and suddenly had beautiful answers written in my journal.

I don't.

I'm still struggling with the word deserve.

And maybe that's why this book affected me so much.

It made me recognize how much of my thinking about ambition, gratitude, boundaries, motherhood, work, and wanting more has been shaped by what I've been taught a “nice” woman should be. I'm still unpacking how much of that came from family, religion, society, and myself.

Meanwhile, I'm tired. I'm giving a lot of myself away. I'm learning to say no. I'm trying to establish better boundaries. I'm also realizing that wanting more for myself doesn't mean I'm ungrateful for the life I already have, because I have so much to be grateful for.

Anyways. Apparently I'm having a small existential crisis courtesy of Kelly Ehlers, so that's cool. 😂

But I'm also leaving this book ready to actually do something with those realizations. I'm going to start using the journaling exercises instead of simply thinking about the questions and moving on. I'm passing this copy to another woman in my life, because I genuinely think women need to have these conversations with themselves. And I'm probably buying myself another copy. Because I'm not finished with this book yet.

I still don't know exactly what I deserve. I don't have some perfectly defined vision of the life I'm supposed to build from here. But I do know I'm tired of pouring from an empty cup and calling it being a “nice girl.”

Maybe I don't need all the answers yet.

Maybe I just need to stop feeling guilty for asking the question.

What do I deserve?
I'm ready to find out.

✨Because this nice girl is ready to win. ✨

Let me start by saying that if I had not been given a free copy of the audiobook to review, I doubt I would have picked this book up. Self-help “girl boss” books have never been my cup of tea.

First of all, the author would bang me upside the head for using the phrase “girl boss” and her book in the same sentence, and I am sorry! One thing that was so downright surprising about this audiobook was just how much the author tries to pull the listener out of the “girl boss” and “you can do anything you put your mind to” philosophy that we women have been fed for the past two decades, and instead focuses on how a situation makes you FEEL.

Now this is not a “touchy feely” book; the author still expects the listener to work hard in their work and personal lives. However, over and over again the author reminds us that the ability to “say no” needs to come back into our vocabulary.

I don’t know what else to say—I can go on and on about how well this book lays things out without making you feel like either an idiot or a kindergartner. However, if you are anything like me, all you really want to know is, “Does this book suck?”

The answer is no, and I will be picking up a physical copy when it goes on sale.

I really love the premise behind Nice Girls Win.

So many women are taught, directly or indirectly, that being kind means being accommodating, agreeable, quiet, or willing to put everyone else first. This book pushes back on that idea and makes the case that kindness and ambition absolutely can coexist.

Kelly Ehlers encourages women to embrace confidence, boundaries, authenticity, and success without feeling like they have to become harder or less compassionate in the process. That message alone is one I think a lot of women need to hear.

This is also a very interactive book, and I think that is probably where much of its real value lies. It isn't meant to be something you simply fly through and put back on the shelf. There are opportunities to stop, reflect, and actually engage with what you're reading.

And that is exactly why I'm putting it aside for now.
I simply don't have the time at this moment to give the interactive portions the attention they deserve, and I don't want to rush through them just to say I finished. I would much rather come back to this when I have the space to actually do the work.

So this isn't a DNF. It's a “I'm coming back when I can do this properly.”

The message is empowering, the concept is strong, and I think Nice Girls Win could be an incredibly valuable read for women learning that they don't have to choose between being kind and going after the life they want.

I’m giving it 4 stars because I truly feel that I got 4 stars out of this book. It was so engaging, and I cannot wait to sit down, take the time it deserves, and completely immerse myself in the workbook portion.

3.5 ⭐️

I received an advance copy of *Nice Girls Win* through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. As always, these are my genuine thoughts and opinions on the book.

I was lucky enough to immersive read this one using both the e-book ARC and audiobook, and I really enjoyed experiencing it in both formats.

I think this is a great introduction to self-help for someone who hasn't read much of it but wants to explore things like setting boundaries, building confidence, practising gratitude, and figuring out how to build a life you actually love.

REWIRE YOUR BRAIN! Neuroplasticity, baby! 😂

For someone who has read a lot of self-help, some of the concepts may feel familiar or repetitive, but honestly, I didn't mind that. A lot of these are things we KNOW we're supposed to do, but knowing something and actually exercising that muscle every day are two different things. I liked the reminders to find gratitude in small, everyday things, like the sun on your face, the smell of coffee, or your dogs. It's easy to forget those little things when you're just going through everyday life.

I REALLY liked that this is basically a workbook/journal in book form. It actually gives you questions and exercises that make you stop and look at your own thought patterns rather than just reading about these concepts and moving on.

I also appreciated that the author acknowledges we're not all starting from the same place. Things like class, race, sex, and our individual circumstances can affect the opportunities and challenges we experience. I liked that the book recognizes those differences rather than suggesting mindset alone can fix everything.

This may be geared a little more toward career-focused women, but I liked that the author also acknowledges that "work" can mean running a household, organizing kids' schools and activities, managing family life, etc.

Overall, I really enjoyed this one. It's especially great for someone newer to self-help, but even seasoned self-help readers can probably use the reminder that knowing what we should be doing isn't always the same as actually doing it.

I enjoyed reading this book. I think as women we tend to focus a lot on everyone else’s wants and needs and we forget about ourselves. This book reminded me of how it’s important to have boundaries and having by respect towards other’s boundaries as well. Saying no is allowed without feeling remorseful. I enjoyed how this book was sweet and to the point.